A Guide To Senior Dating & Dating Apps For Over 50s
Dating – it’s not just a millennial’s game anymore. More and more people over 50 are turning to dating apps to find someone to spend their later years with. You may have many friends and maybe even a family of your own, but that doesn’t mean you should be content with being single if you don’t want to be. If you’re ready to get back in to dating, whether you’re in your fifties or beyond, then it might be time to try a dating app like Lumen.
There’s a lot to be considered when it comes to senior dating, though that doesn’t mean you can’t let go and enjoy yourself. That’s why we’ve put together some advice for you, before you get started, so you can focus on doing what’s best for you.
Generally, when you’re dating over 50, you want to keep an open heart and an open mind. It can be easy as we get older to develop a very exact list of what we want in a partner, and knowing what you want is never a bad thing. However, no one is perfect and one person will struggle to tick all your boxes AND be completely flaw free. That’s what makes us human, after all, and that uniqueness makes mature dating all the more fun. You and your potential partners have a wealth of experience and have developed in to well-rounded people with your own interests, quirks and, yes, even flaws. Learn to embrace everything someone has to offer, the good and the bad, and you’re sure to have a great time dating over 50.
Dating as a widow/widower
Let’s start with a tough topic. A lot of us have experienced loss in our lives, it can shape who we are and have a profound impact on us that never leaves. Some of us are unlucky enough to lose our partner. With that comes a lot to consider, whether you’re dating as a widow or whether you’re dating someone that has experienced that loss.
When you’re dating someone that has lost their partner, be mindful of their past. Don’t make it a taboo topic. If you don’t allow someone to discuss their past, and their pain, they won’t be able to recover and you’ll only push them away. Even a seemingly harmless phrase such as ‘the past is in the past’ can come across as dismissive and insensitive. Their past is such a large part of who they are, and denying that can hurt a lot.
Take things as slowly as you need to. When you decide you’re ready to start dating again, whether you’re in your fifties, in your sixties, in your seventies or beyond, remember that you need time to heal. Don’t force yourself to do anything that you’re not ready for, and on the flipside be patient when dating someone in this position. Perhaps you never thought you’d be dating again, so it’s a lot for you to process, and you deserve the time to do that.
Remember, if it’s what you feel ready for and want to do, you deserve to love again.
Dating after divorce
A lot of us dating over 50 may have been through a divorce. That absolutely doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to date again. However mature dating after a divorce is going to require honesty and consideration. Though the good news is that you’re definitely not alone in this.
First off, be sure that you’re actually ready to start dating again. You need to make sure you’ve let go of your past relationship, whether that’s pain, anger or possibly even lingering romantic feelings. If you haven’t let go of your previous relationship, it might be best to give yourself more time. Maybe you’re actually on good terms with your ex, which could be beneficial – if there’s no lingering resentment, then you’re likely ready to move on.
Be honest with your dates. You might not want to put your divorcée status in your dating bio, which is entirely up to you and fine, but it may be worth bringing up in conversation. A past marriage can be a big thing to come up later down the line, especially if you have a family together. Honesty is the best policy in this case – if your date can’t cope with a previous relationship, particularly if you have kids that are a big part of your life, then perhaps it’s best to not take things further.
Dating apps for over 50s
Now for the fun part, using a dating app like Lumen to start dating over 50. It’s time to rip up the rule book, because dating apps are the game-changer you need. Thanks to dating apps, you’ll be able to find people just like you that are looking for someone to share their golden years with. There are a lot of ways you can help yourself when using an app for plus 50 dating.
First thing’s first, you want to get that perfect profile picture. It’s the first part anyone will see when looking at your profile, so you could say it’s your first impression. There are a few things to avoid when it comes to a profile picture – the top thing to avoid is group photos, as this can be confusing for someone looking at your profile. The last thing you want is for someone to think you’re someone else. You can still let someone know your friends and family are important to you without having to use them in a photo (also, a lot of people can feel uncomfortable knowing they might be in someone else’s photo on a dating app).
With a profile picture, you want to go recent. Don’t pick a photograph that’s over a year old, you’d be surprised how much your look can change in that time (a simple change in hairstyle can do a lot!). You don’t have to update your profile picture every week, unless of course you want to, but every few months wouldn’t hurt. And of course, make sure it’s a flattering picture, good lighting (natural lighting over a camera flash can be great to soften your face) and don’t be afraid to show off your winning smile.
Next step, your dating bio. When you’re over 50, you’ve experienced a lot and done so many interesting things. It can be difficult to figure out what to put in your dating profile. The last thing you want to do is overwhelm someone with paragraph after paragraph (dating apps have a character limit, but that doesn’t mean you have to hit them). So think of it like you’re introducing yourself, like you’ve just met at a party. Tell them about a few of your interests, maybe ask a friend how they’d describe you and put that in there.
Try to avoid clichés when writing your bio. It’s so common to see things like someone’s job and a list of things someone wants in a partner, or words like ‘bubbly’ to describe a personality. Things like, ‘I’m new at this’ can come across as a discomfort with the whole online dating thing. You’re mature, you’re ready to date, and you want to show that. So write something simple, even start with a ‘hello’. Just remember how you last introduced yourself to someone, try to recreate that moment. There’s plenty of time to expand upon who you are when you actually start talking to each other.
When you do get chatting, keep your first few messages simple. Ask about what they’ve been doing this week or today, what they do for work, ask if they’ve got a few interests that aren’t in their profile – the big topics can come up a little later, perhaps in person. Take a look through their profile, see if there’s anything that particularly catches your interest and ask about that, to show that you’re genuinely intrigued.
After a bit of back and forth messaging, you might feel like you’re ready to meet up. Try to get to know each other a little first, maybe have about five conversations so you can figure out each other’s interests and base your first date on that. Do you both like art? Nothing says a relaxing first date like a trip to an art gallery. Give yourself time to figure each other out a little first, don’t rush in. And of course, for safety’s sake be sure to meet in public for your first few dates.
You’re 50 plus and you’re your own person, so you can take things at your own pace, however fast or slow that is. There are my preconceptions about mature dating, but what you do is entirely up to you. If you want to get intimate on a first date, whether that’s just a kiss or even going home together and spending the night, that’s great if that’s what you both want. On the other hand, if you want to take things slow, maybe keep your first date to a hug and a handshake, that’s also fine. You do you.
Dating over 50 is an exciting adventure. Dating over 50 happens on your terms. Whatever your situation may be, if you’re ready to date, make a start with Lumen.