How to Love Yourself so You Can Love Someone Else

You know how it goes, “if you can’t love yourself how are you going to love somebody else?” First off, struggling with feelings of loss, hurt or self-loathing doesn’t mean for a second that you aren’t worthy of love. And it certainly doesn’t mean you aren’t capable of giving love either!


However, for your own peace of mind it’s always worth investing some time in to self-love. It’s definitely something you have to re-learn to do, especially if you’ve been through a difficult time (like a break-up for example). So let’s take some time to love ourselves again, with these few reminders of how to do just that… 


Understand Your Feelings – They’re Valid


It’s time to shut out all the voices telling you to get over it and move on. Whatever you may be going through, it’s okay to feel down for a while. You can’t process your emotions and feelings without going through them, and bottling them up certainly isn’t healthy. So don’t deny yourself some time to grieve. 


Take some time to think about what’s hurt you, as painful as that may be. Why did the experience hurt you and is there anything you can learn from it, such as how to not be hurt in that way again? Talk about what you’re going through, whether that’s in to a mirror, to a trusted friend or even to a therapist. You can only shake it off when you’re ready, so take your time with your recovery. Your feelings are not irrational, they are very much valid. 


Remember What You’ve Overcome


Understand that this will pass is important on your journey to recovery. So remember what you’ve already overcome. Maybe it still hurts a little thinking about these past experiences, and that’s okay – sometimes it not about getting over an experience that hurt your but living with it, learning from it and growing from it. The experience will always be there, but the hurt will pass. You’ll move forward stronger from each experience. 


You’re Special, Really! 


We hear it a lot and it’s often hard to see it in ourselves – you’re special, you’re unique, you’re amazing. But the reason we hear it a lot is because it’s true, so let’s not forget that. The best person to remind yourself of how amazing you really are is yourself. Try to get back in to doing what you’re passionate about, even if it’s just for yourself – writing, painting, fitness, whatever makes you feel like you’ve accomplished something and keeps your mind occupied from any negativity. Because when you achieve something you remind yourself of just how amazing and powerful you really are. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help – when you’re ready, be with the people that remind you of how amazing you really are. 


Getting through a low period can feel like riding out a storm, but you will ride it out. You don’t have to do it alone, ask friends and family for help when you need it. Learning to love yourself again will come naturally with time if you allow yourself to let go of any hurt. Remember that this will come to pass, and you will soon feel like you again. 


Share article

Have you downloaded Lumen yet? Join for free and find someone worth talking to today.