Dating Diary Part Seven

How do you know if a man is really into you? A so-called “date doctor” I read about tells worried women over fifty that one of the signs that a man is really into you is that he, “won’t have a string of exes that he still talks to and hangs out with.” 

I disagree. People who are over fifty and have been single for numerous years are bound to have more exes than someone who has only recently become single. So I think it’s a good sign that a man is still friends with his exes; it shows that he’s not some angry and bitter man who just loves ‘em and leaves ‘em. He cares about the people who were once close to him, which means he will care for you too. Isn’t that the sort of man you’d want in your life?

I discovered this week that there’s actually a dating trend based on this belief of mine that’s called, Grande-ing. What’s that? It comes from the Ariana Grande’s single Thank U-Next. Grande-ing is to celebrate all the good things you got out of your relationships. So instead of responding to a recent break-up with bitterness and negativity you feel grateful or as Ariana sings, “Thank you, next I’m so fuc*in’ grateful for my ex.” 

It’s very tempting when your looking for love and finding love and then loosing love, to just give up. But even the worst dates and disastrous relationships have something to teach us about romance and more importantly about ourselves. Remember: every romance that goes wrong, is just another step in finding the right one. 

Cosmo Landesman is the former dating columnist for The Sunday Times and writes about love and romance for a wide range of publications including The Times and The Spectator magazine. He is currently single — but remains optimistic that true love is just one date away. 

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