Relationship Readiness – 10 Signs that You’re Ready for Your Next Committed Relationship

Being ready to date is somewhat different from actually starting your first serious relationship after a breakup or divorce.  It can seem a bit daunting and the fear of getting your heart broken again is very real.  But as and when you’re ready there will come a time that you’ll want to take a chance at finding real love again. 

If you’ve been dating for a while, but you’re not sure about actually taking the plunge and get serious about your next committed relationship, here are some key signs to look out for to help you set yourself up for success: 

  1. You’ve taken the time to take stock of what you want your life to look like going forward. You have a clear vision for your next relationship and how it fits in with what you still want to achieve. 
  2. You know what you want and what type of relationship you’re looking for. You’re open about where you’re up to on your journey and whether you’re looking for something casual, something short term or ‘recreational’ or a long term committed relationship. 
  3. You would love to be in a relationship with the right person, but you don’t need to be. You’re happy and successful being single and don’t expect another person or a relationship to meet all your needs and make you happy – you’re doing a pretty good job of this yourself already.  And you don’t expect a new relationship to ‘rescue’ you from emotional or financial problems.
  4. You understand your dating and relationship habits and patterns. Especially the unhelpful ones! You know what to do differently next time.  You’ve also learnt to not interpret infatuation, attraction, attachment and/or good sex as ‘love’.  You keep your boundaries intact and balance your head with your heart.
  5. You’re starting with a clean slate. You’ve let go of the pain of the past and the unresolved stuff that’s been holding you back, including your ex.  
  6. You’re ready and available for commitment. You’re done with the emotional (and legal) baggage from a previous marriage/relationship and it no longer takes all your time and energy.  Now your schedule and lifestyle gives you the space to bring somebody new into your life.
  7. You’re happy with your job and the way your career is going.  Your job is fulfilling, supports your lifestyle and doesn’t interfere with your availability for a new relationship. You’re able to prioritise getting out there and meeting somebody special. 
  8. You’re as healthy as you can be in body, mind and spirit.  You’re taking care of yourself in every way and you’re reasonably happy and feeling good overall.  A great place to be and it will show in everything you do!
  9. Your financial and legal business is handled.  This is especially important while/after going through a divorce.  You no longer have financial and/or legal issues that would interfere with a new relationship. 
Your family relationships are functional and reasonably happy.  Not all of us come from happy supportive families and of course that doesn’t mean you can’t have a happy, fulfilling relationship, but it will play an important part in your future relationship. 

There’s never a completely perfect scenario, but it’s worth the wait and putting the work in to get yourself in the best place possible to make your next relationship your best yet. 

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