Newly Single and Dating after 50: 5 Rules for Online Dating Success

You may never have planned to be dating again in your fifties, but you’re definitely not alone.  There are 7.5 million single, widowed or divorced men and women in the UK alone and a large proportion of them are looking to meet new friends and partners online.                                                                                                                                                Whether you’re an experienced online dater or just starting out, there are 5 rules to keep in mind to make sure you give yourself the best possible start. 

1. Your profile pictures                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Your pictures are a great way to show who you are without saying a word. On Lumen you have to have a minimum of 3 pictures on your profile and can add to 6 to show a bit more about you and your life. 

A few key points about your pictures:                                                                                                                                                                                    The quality is key. Low quality selfies, bad lighting and messy backgrounds are some of the reasons people can be put off. Put some thought into this, ask a friend to take some updated pictures of you, or consider getting some professional online dating profile pictures taken.  

2. Your profile

The point of your profile is to stand out and to help you attract the right kind of people who’d be interested in getting to know you. 

For your Lumen profile you will be completing an ‘About Me’ and a section on what you’re looking for in a person and / or relationship. Honesty is everything and the only real way to start a new relationship, there is no reason or need to be dishonest about your age for example.  On Lumen you already know that people who are here are looking for someone closer to their own age. You know yourself and what you want at this stage in your life so be clear about what you’re looking and be upfront about it.  

3. Don't get stuck with a new penpal

The whole point of using an app like Lumen is to meet new like-minded people whether it leads to friendship or a relationship, so the next step is to actually meet them in real life. Keep in mind that it can be surprisingly easy to get stuck in endless messaging or emails and not actually take the plunge so it’s important to confidently navigate these next steps. There’s no need to rush anything, but try and meet sooner rather than later. 

One way to take the next step is to get on the phone.  This is often an important bridge between messaging and actually meeting up as you can get a real sense of somebody’s personality and also chemistry between the two of you when you speak.  

4. Stay safe

Lumen takes the safety of its members seriously and have one to great lengths to ensure that profiles are verified and people are who they say they are. But even so, taking your personal safety seriously is very important when you’re online dating.

  • When you meet somebody for the first time always make sure to choose a safe and neutral venue. 
  • Take your own transportation so you can leave should you want to.
  • Always let somebody you trust know your whereabouts so they can check in with you and let them know that you’re home safe, especially in the beginning stages of dating someone new. 
  • Listen to your gut and if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe for whatever reason, it is completely reasonable to leave the date. 
5. Manage your expectations                                                                                                                                                                                                       Going into every first date with the high expectation that this may be ‘the one’ sets you up for disappointment from the start.  A much better starting point is to have fun and genuinely be interested in getting to know a bit more about the person you’re seeing. 

A good way to navigate your online dating journey is to just take every experience for what it is, what you could potentially learn about another person, and most importantly what you can learn about yourself as you move forward. 

Award-winning Dating & Relationship Coach Ané Auret specialises in helping women find new love after breakup or divorce. Since rebuilding her own life after divorce and now happily married again, Ané is passionate about supporting women during their own post-divorce transformation through her unique Heal — Play — Love process, a 3 Step Programme to Starting Over in Love. Through her exclusive coaching programmes and tailor-made mentoring Ané helps you reinvent the New You so you can date with confidence and ease and find love again. Ané was awarded the Dating Expert of the Year Award at the prestigious UK Dating Awards in 2017. She also hosts the popular Ready for Love Podcast.

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