Lumen Mother's Day Special

Getting back into dating can be a daunting prospect – not only because of the feeling that things have moved on, but also how other family members, most notably children, may react. However, it’s not surprising that tons are helping their parents navigate the online dating world. We offer a safe and dedicated environment that’s strictly for over 50s and to help you consider what’s right for you, we’ve pulled together some advice ahead of Mother’s Day to help get you started, no matter what your relationship background.

Tips for over-50s single parents getting back into dating 

1. Break the barriers 

First and foremost, let your children know that you are dating. It may seem easier to keep your dating life to yourself, but this won’t help if you get into a relationship down the line. In fact, the best way to know if you’re ready to date is if you can be honest with your children about it. If you are confident and comfortable about the idea, then you’ll likely be ready to actually do it. 

2. Let your kids (and your friends) help you with your profile

As we all know, the younger generation have grown up with the rise of social networking and it’s possible they are also well equipped with the world of online dating. It can be hard to write a description of yourself in any case, so whilst it’s great to ask a close friend to help you with your profile, your children also know you better than anyone, and likely want the best for you. The most honest feedback is likely to be from your kids too, so get their tech advice and ask for their support if you get stuck with a photo choice.

3. Settle your expectations with your children 

Whatever your relationship history, whether you’ve recently been through a divorce/ break up, become widowed or have not dated before, your kids will likely have lived through it too. Therefore, they may come armed with some concerns or reservations. If this is the case, try to understand where they are coming from. If you have been hurt in the past, or have gone through a tough time as a family, they may worry it will happen again. Be honest with yourself and your children about what kind of relationship is best for you right now and it will put them at ease. To do this, try to discuss an initial dating goal that you are all comfortable with. For instance, you may not be ready for something heavily committed, perhaps more so companionship and it’s helpful to outline this in the initial stages of dating if it’s new to your kids. 

4. You are in control

Ultimately, remember that you are always entitled to a love life at any stage. So, when it comes to approaching dating later in life, always be your own judge. If you are confident in your own skin and have taken time to look at what you’d like your future to hold then now it’s time to do what is best for you. Sometimes we don’t always get the support we’d like from our children, but they can take longer than our friends to get on board with new decisions. The best thing you can do is to show them your confidence and positivity. This will reassure them that you are in control and hopefully the support will follow. 

5. And on that note, it is your journey 

This might seem like a strange one at first but surprisingly a lot of senior daters find themselves trying to work their dating life around their children. When your children are younger and more dependent, this is understandable but now they have reached adult life, this is the time to put the focus back on you. It’s great to talk about your kids on your dates and for many seniors, conversations about your children can often help you find a common ground, however be aware of how much you discuss your children and try to not let your life as a parent take control, remember this time it’s about you as an individual.

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