How to stay positive while online dating

Sometimes you might find yourself tired of dating, tired of swiping, tired of yet another conversation that abruptly stops. It might all seem like too much effort. Yes, we get that. We’ve been there too.

Here are some things to consider if you find yourself in this situation. 

Carry on living your life

It’s easy to be so focussed on what we’re looking for, ie a relationship, or to go out on some dates, that it becomes the entire focus in life. We forget the other things that we enjoy and find come to us easily. Carry on living your life to the fullest, it’s amazing what happens when you’re not thinking how hard you find dating, and that it’s a struggle to meet anyone. There’s something attractive about someone who’s in love with life.

Be kind

It can feel difficult sometimes when people seem to behave in a way that feels alien. We can still be kind and act from a place of integrity. Who knows what’s going on in another’s life for them to be unkind. We don’t need to judge and get involved. We also don’t need to put up with it either. Still, we can be kind towards ourselves and others.

Take nothing personally

Oh this one is so important and key to a healthy dating life. We have a whole list of expectations for how others should behave. We expect so much of others and when they don’t fulfil our expectations we get upset at them. We take things personally, when in fact it’s got nothing to do with us. Imagine being able to let go of that job?! Imagine simply not being attached to any outcome, that really would enable you to stay positive whilst online dating.

Look after your mental health

It’s great that looking after our mental health and wellbeing is now high up on the agenda. It’s really important to tune into your own wisdom here and learn to trust your gut instincts. If you’ve got a feeling that something’s not right, trust that feeling. Your mental health is more important than anything. Someone who knows how to love and respect themselves is going to have a much healthier time dating. 

Keep it all in perspective

You really don’t need to take this dating thing so seriously. Have fun, lighten up, enjoy it, laugh at the mistakes and the things that didn’t quite go to plan. It’s all part of growing and learning and living life. You will look back one day and be able to give it all some perspective.

Be true to who you are

Top tip! Never try to fit into someone else’s idea of who they think you should be. That’s rubbish and will never feel right (see mental health above). Someone who acts from a place of being comfortable in their own skin, who is always true to themselves is always going to treat the whole dating thing in a much lighter and playful way.

Take it at a pace that suits you

There is a time scale that’s right for you. Always go at your own pace. Never feel rushed or pressed into doing something you’re not ready to do. There is always a pause button available for you to take a breath and settle yourself. This has to be fun after all!

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